The Cave People and Puppies

Declan had his 4 month check up today - 4 months!! He's 26.25 inches long and weighs 17 lbs even, 90th percentile for both. I love these check ups... for me, it's almost like a job review, and even though I know being a stay at home mom is an important job and one of the hardest, it's nice to have it validated sometimes by an objective reviewer. Hearing from Dr. Cambria that the boys are thriving and wonderful reminds me that despite the frustrations and lack of brain stimulation that come with the role, that I'm doing an important job and doing it well.

As I write this, Declan is sleeping in our bed, on his side, in the sleep positioner. Five minutes after he went down to sleep (enough time for me to get downstairs and start to unwind) he woke up crying. So I went back upstairs, lay down next to him, and he grabbed for my face with both hands, getting a hold of my nose and my ear. Once he realized he was cuddled up next to me, he settled right down and went back to sleep. And I thought to myself: this is how the cave people must have done it.

See, Javier and I are constantly marveling at the challenges of caring for babies, and when the going gets tough, we say "how on earth did the cave people manage this?" While I lay there tonight with Declan, who was content as could be snuggled into me, I could imagine us as a mom and her baby tens of thousands ago in a cave on our bearskin rug... the Mama Cave Women probably just had their babies cuddled next to them all the time - more like we see animals today. Which then got me thinking... this is how puppies sleep too - all cuddled up to the mother. Anyways, somehow it made it all easier to think of it in these terms, and realize that Declan is just a little baby who needs snuggling and warmth to feel secure, and that it's just such a basic need... no matter the species or the time period.

Now, that sounds all very new age-y to me... a bit too crunchy and holistic, so major disclaimer here: I am so not a proponent of the family bed. (This is so personal and I totally respect people who choose to do it, it's just not for me in the long term.) Because as I lay there thinking about the cave people and puppies, I also realized that the cave people most likely had a much higher infant mortality rate and I have yet to read about a puppy expiring of SIDS. So the practical side of me still can't wait until Declan's sleeping on his own. As my dad likes to say, "snip, snip, snip!"

"So this is our problem"

First something that has nothing to do with the boys: I was just on a mom's website (there are literally zillions of them) and I saw a post from a woman writing about her son in high school. She used "kinda" at least two times - maybe more, but I stopped reading at the second "kinda" - please, if you're reading this (which means mom, Gladys, Gisela, or Gaby) and I use "kinda" feel free to yell at me.

OK... so the boys - that's why you're here, right? Jack's latest is that he had his 18 month check up last Wednesday (Declan's is tomorrow, but I already know what Dr. Cambria is going to say - he's a giant, and too bad he doesn't sleep well) - oh, but back to Jack - Jack is 33 inches in length, 70th percentile, and 24 lbs 4 oz, 25th percentile. He's a long, lean kid. For this visit I was really feeling the pressure for Jack to have some words since he wasn't knocking our socks off at the 15 month check up. The conversation went something like this:

DR. CAMBRIA: Does Jack have any words?
ME: Yeah... he says things like "ball"
JACK: Baw!
ME: ... and "up"
JACK: Ub!
ME: ... and he can say dog, and cat, and he knows all his animal sounds.
DR. CAMBRIA: What does the duck say?
JACK: woof woof!
ME: (sheepish grin) Duck, honey, not "dog"
DR. CAMBRIA: What does the cow say?
JACK: eee-ow!
ME (almost panicking): Ha, ha, Cow, honey, not "cat"

Jack redeemed himself when he got this Dora the Explorer sticker. "DOW-WA!"

Declan can do lots of things:
- blow raspberries so forcefully that milky slime ends up on top of his head
- hold onto a rattle and put it in his mouth
- sit in the bumbo
- jump in the jumper
- almost sit up on his own - like, really on his own, no support

Declan can't:
- sleep for long periods of time.

So this is our problem: Declan likes to roll over onto his tummy in his sleep, but he doesn't turn his head to the side to clear his airway. Instead, he pushes his nose straight down onto the mattress and puts his arms up along his head to block out any fresh air. This pushes all sorts of SIDS panic buttons throughout my body that I didn't even know I had until about a week ago. (Which would be right about the time I received my Parenting magazine that had an absolutely heartbreaking - and terrifying - article about SIDS) We've tried sleep positioners to stop him from rolling over, but when Declan tries to roll over and can't, he wakes up and cries (every hour or so). Our temporary solution, with the blessing of Dr. Cambria: Declan is in bed with us, sometimes in the positioner and sometimes not, but Javier and I are aware of his head position throughout the night. (Translation: neither of us are sleeping very well...) - our goal is to "train" Declan to turn his head when he rolls onto his stomach. So far, Declan has proved remarkably resistant to changing his favorite sleeping position.

With that said, I should be off to bed while the boy is sleeping...

To all the family in Chicago: We'll see you soon!

Siiiiinging in the Rain

Ok, so I thought the cutest thing ever was watching Jack discover a mud puddle last week. Until I saw him discover the fun of running around in his diaper during a summer rain storm. Jack, who had woken up from his nap in a bad mood and was inconsolable, was running around in the rain in sheer glee, laughing, so thrilled he was going in circles and back and forth - probably close to the happiest I've seen him, and I've seen this kid pretty happy.

So the memory is doubly sweet, first because nothing makes me so happy as to see one of my children laughing, but also because my mom took him out in the rain when she saw that I wanted to allow Jack to explore the rain, but didn't want to get wet myself. Now that I'm a mother I realize that she did this for two reasons: ( 1) she loves Jack and (2) she loves me. The "nothing makes me so happy as to see one of my children laughing" is a wonderful chain - she got to see Jack happy, but she also got to see me happy as I sat there - dry - grinning while I watched Jack run and laugh. Thanks Mom.

Declan, for his part, has been dubbed "the best baby ever" "giant baby" "baby giant" and "duck-lin" (by cousin Maddie - "where's duck-lin? where's duck-lin?") We're still see-sawing with the sleep, but I focus on the positive - at least he knows night time and day time (even if he wakes up a lot at night, he goes back to sleep) and he now goes down around 9 / 9:30. Declan took his first bottle of 100% formula (4 oz) which is a big milestone and a huge relief for me - he seemed to like it, which is a good thing since we'll be mixing it with cereal in just a few months. Yay!

Getting out with the Vibe!

So for the past two days, the Vibe stroller has been the best thing ever. Yesterday morning was stormy, but I was able to take the boys to the mall to get some errands done, and they were both happy. In the afternoon I was going to let Jack run around in Borders before we did the grocery shopping, but every time I tried to hold his hand because it was a safety issue or because he was going to wreak havoc, he would collapse to the ground and refuse to cooperate. (he does this thing where he just falls and swings around my body because I'm still holding his hand... I just hope his arm stays in the socket.) Solved the problem by leaving and going to the grocery store where he was a peach in the shopping cart. Declan was just hanging out in the Bjorn this whole time.

But this morning was the best accomplishment - loaded the boys up in the stroller and we walked downtown to the gym - it was a beautiful crisp morning and I was so happy to get out early. Once we got to the Y, it was great to see all of the babysitters there, and they were thrilled to see Jack again and meet Declan. I always make sure that I hang out for awhile in the beginning to make sure Jack is acclimated, and also to hang out with the babysitters and chat in Spanish, which I think translates into more attentive care for the boys when I'm not there. I feel like I got a great workout with the walk there and back, and I got a lot of stretching in at the gym since I've been having a lot of neck and wrist pain - casualties from taking care of two small kids, I think. I'm so excited to be back on the gym / babysitting bandwagon again!

It's my potty and I'll cry if I want to...

OK, so I should be sleeping but I'm addicted to the Olympics. So a quick catch up...

Potty reference in title - we bought Jack a kiddie potty awhile ago because he's fascinated when we go to the bathroom, so Javier decided that since Jack is interested, why not let him have his own toilet? I have no problem with this, and of course would be thrilled if Jack potty trained early, I just want to manage expectations here... the average age for boys to potty train is 3+ years... Jack isn't even 1 1/2 yet (and let's be honest, has been at the tail end of the milestone time frames). BUT! Last night Jack peed in his potty. Coincidence? Very likely (I mean, he can't even communicate when he needs to go...) but hey - still a milestone, still very exciting! Go Jack go. (Literally, go Jack go. In the potty.)

Declan is starting to fall into some sort of sleep routines and habits, though he's still not consistently a good sleeper. We seem to have 2 or 3 good nights followed by 2 or 3 not so good nights. But at least now we have a going down routine - into the bath around 9:15 or so (loves his baths), lotion/massage, pjs on and nursing in a darkened room, and he either falls asleep nursing or in his bed being patted and shushed. I like that he can fall asleep being shhhh'd because I feel this is a step closer to him falling asleep on his own. He's usually asleep by 9:45, but then it's anyone's guess how long he'll stay asleep for.

We've been on and off busy. Thursday I took the boys up to see Christina and John at Mrs. Morgner's country house - we played with Jack in the lake which was lovely and Declan continues to make friends with his big toothless grin and happy nature. Declan and John are good buddies now. Jack was a prince in the car ride up - with the help of a chocolate chip cookie bribe - and napped for a good portion of the way home (thank goodness!) and Declan slept both ways, a huge stress reliever.

Friday we went down to East Windsor and the Boston cousins were still there so Jack and Declan had a nice visit with them. Rosie, Alma's mom, had Declan the whole time and Declan just loved her, laughing away. Jack and Maddie play really nicely together, no stealing, hitting, or anything like that. And Jack just looks up to Joey like "holy cow, what's this kid going to do next?" I was also able to pick up the tile for the bathroom and laundry area in the basement (yay!) since the flooring will be going down this week.

Saturday afternoon we took the boys to the pool and Jack is very brave in the water - he'll duck his head under the running water in the baby pool, and he's not afraid to float on his back and get his ears wet. He hasn't mastered blowing bubbles yet, but I think that's around the corner. I'll post shots of Declan - we put his toes in the pool and it was the first time he was sporting his bathing suit.

Lemonade out of Lemons

Things have been going really well. Right now I'm feeling very relaxed and happy - both boys are sleeping and we've had a great and productive day. This morning I took the boys downtown to run some errands - we got the invitations to Declan's baptism, I bought a hostess gift for Christina's mom (we're going to her country house tomorrow in NY), and sent out a baby gift and card from UPS. I ran into Leslie Arlein and her boys and caught up with her as well. The last time I saw her was in Kings when I told her I was pregnant with Declan - somewhere at 13 weeks, I guess.

After the errands we went to the park since Declan was asleep in the stroller and Jack had a good time running around. I manage it by pushing the stroller along the jungle gym, standing below any high openings that Jack might try to crawl down. This way I'm with both boys at all times. Thank goodness the Phil & Ted's stroller can handle the mulchy playground. In fact, I received several comments today on it being the latest model, and people asking me if I like it. I love it.

At home I fixed Jack his lunch (grilled cheese w/ tomato, side of blueberries), fed Declan, Jack watched his Backyardigans episode, and then down for the nap. The contractor came by today so I could finalize the flooring that's going into the basement, and that's going to be installed early next week. I'm so excited for the basement - next week is the flooring, tiling and trim. Then it will be ready for paint.

Declan has had two good nights of sleeping in a row - (6 hours last night, 5 hours the night before) - before that, we were going through a few rough nights of waking every couple of hours. He was up early Sunday morning and woke up Jack (the "lemons" part of this story) but we made the best of it and threw the boys in the stroller for an early walk downtown (the lemonade!) - we had a great walk and it was cool enough to need long sleeves, which I love - and then stopped at the diner to get breakfast to go. We took our breakfast to the park and had a picnic, and then Jack was able to run around while we had coffee. It was perfect. And then we had a nice walk home. Such a nice way to start the day.

And to be filed under "I heard this happens but never thought it would happen to us" category: Last week I was on the phone with Javier, and when I hung up Jack was standing in his pack-n-play with no diaper, just a T-shirt. Jack had thrown the diaper over the edge and onto the carpet. After checking out the situation, the diaper was only wet, I didn't smell anything foul, didn't see anything foul, Jack was clean, so I thought we were safe. Yes, thought. It wasn't until later, after I put Jack in the pack-n-play while the contractors stopped by that I was like, "Jack, are you dirty?" Nope, nothing in the diaper. And then I looked and saw poop in the pack-n-play and it had previously been covered by his dog book. (Which was thrown out and has since been replaced.) Totally gross. I had to wash all of the toys and scrub down the pack-n-play, in disbelief that it is my job to take care of these things while the boys blissfully float through life. Sigh. But I still think it's kind of funny.